Is saying ‘no’ a form of self care? | MyBag team’s #selfcaresunday routines

Writer and expert1 year ago

Self care in recent years has become a well known term that we use in everyday life. From beauty experts to teachers, footballers and mothers all talking about the importance of ‘self care’. It is much more than its original political meaning, the word ‘self care’ is now said to be an industry worth £11 billion with over 66 million hashtags on Instagram. Today we discuss why saying the simple word ‘no’ can be one of the biggest forms of self care. We also joined the MyBag team to ask what their self care routines are?

Self care has been clinically proven to reduce anxiety, depression, and stress, improve concentration, minimise frustration and increase happiness. Self care is about setting boundaries and taking that much needed ‘me time’. That means learning to say the word ‘no’. However easy that might sound, saying the word ‘no’ can harder than you think. Whether it is to your colleagues or your friends learning to say ‘no’ is one of the biggest milestones. You have to do it to get through life, so if you haven’t already it’s time to rip off the plaster. Initially saying no can come with the sense of guilt, that you have a responsibility to others, that you want to do as much as possible, you don’t want to let anyone down or get the dreaded FOMO. But we can say for sure that you will feel worse if you have stretched yourself to thinly, taken too much on or like many, overspent this month. Your friends, family and colleagues will be fine without you, they will not combust if you don’t go to an event or help them with a project. It is a case of having respect for your well-being and they will ultimately respect you for that.

We are not talking about saying ‘no’ to paying your parking bill or ‘no’ to your boss’s report request. Just that you should manage the pressures in life so that they don’t have a negative effect on your well being. Saying no to someone else means saying yes to yourself. If you have said no to bottomless brunch this weekend you have in fact said yes to yourself. Yes to your beauty pamper routine, yes to your date with Liam off 90210 as you watch the whole series again. Yes to getting your less glamorous jobs done, which in fact will let you reset and take on the week.

In simple terms, anything your mum used to do for you, you now need to pick up. Often we let those things fall to the side. Possibly because we don’t get a sense of instant gratification or just because we haven’t had the time. But, if you set your boundaries which can at first be hard, it will let you reset your mind. Which will mean your productivity will maximise having a positive effect on your friendships, passions and work output. Ultimately leading to the end result - long-term gratification.

The word ‘no’ can be used as a full sentence, it does not need to be hard or cold. You do not need to come up with an extravagant explanation or reasoning behind why you won’t be there. Or a long apology for why you can’t pick up the extra work, you are only human and communication is key. So, ‘no’ is in fact a form of self care! Joining the MyBag team we asked what their self care routines were that they might do this weekend. I often like to keep my Sundays more peaceful, like an emotional form of self care. I might ring my sister for a catch up or I’ll watch a movie that suits my mood. Sometimes on a weekend, I might even have a nap, just having that time where I don’t feel I need to do anything for anyone. - Freya I am big on a beauty routine, I keep all of my facemasks, eye cooler, jade roller and Gua Sha in the fridge. My form of self care is once I have done all of my house chores to put one of those on and lie on the sofa with my cat. - Liv I like to bake. My mum is a really great cook and it’s been something I’ve done since I was little. I think I find it soothing, like a form of escapism because I just focus on that. My boyfriend always likes to sample the results! - Isabel

I always feel my best if I have maintained a routine where I have managed to do some form of exercise. My plan might be a morning class, a run with my friend or walking my dog. I think the fresh air and endorphins are a great way to manage any stress or anxiety. - AbiI like to try and say no to plans twice a month and this weekend is one of them. (yay) I might go to the gym, might nip to see my parents or just clean my flat. I find the saying no allows me to not feel burnt out with social plans. Also financially I don’t stress myself out and end up dreading the plans I agreed to. - Holly